The Unbearable

We walked together a few steps
An endeavour for me
But a spring set in
Which enraptured me.

Now the autumn arrives
We tread upon
the shady leaves of destiny
I strive to imagine
A moment , an eternity
And I am pained
to find eternity so short.

The inevitable crossroads
And I will not deny
the fond memories.

Tonight

The still of the night,
the deafening silence,
then the brilliant darkness
and my arid soul.

With glazed eyes,
numbing grief that chokes my heart,
averting many a tear with all my will,
I pause time to reflect.

A blaze burned,
A fever raged,
A fire cooled,
The pain eased
I did triumph then.
I looked on as they carried me away. 

The Beyond

Sometimes I was too vulnerable and sometimes I was too helpless,
I never feared dying but it was life that killed me.
I always knew that life was all destiny
And I know now that my seasons will never change.
Who all should I blame,
Never could tell who was friend or a foe
What do I have to complain now,
I like the darkness around me so much that
My time waits to pass me on to the other side.

aaj sochaa to aansoo bhar aaye
muddate ho gayee muskuraye

har kadam par udhar mud ke dekhaa
unakee mahafil se hum uthh to aaye

rah gayee jindagee dard ban ke
dard dil mein chhupaaye chhupaaye

dil kee naajuk rage tootatee hain
yaad itanaa bhee koee naa aaye

I cry a river as is said whenever I listen to this song.
And I grieve for what I never had.

My journey

My journey has been a story of loss...
It is my agony of yearning.

My broken heart wails in silence
and my longing torments my tears.

I desired you with all my soul, my heart
my senses and I pined for you an eternity.

I cared for you in me even when you began
to belong to another world.

I will try to forget you everyday.

My Soliloquy

I cried not because you loved me less
but because when I was all yours, you were never completely mine.

I cried not because I loved you so much all the time
but because you loved me only sometimes.

I cried not because I now die a little everyday
but because you never had me belong to you ever.

Is this my dream too?

      In visions of the dark night
        I have dreamed of joy departed-
      But a waking dream of life and light
        Hath left me broken-hearted.

      Ah! what is not a dream by day
        To him whose eyes are cast
      On things around him with a ray
        Turned back upon the past?

      That holy dream- that holy dream,
        While all the world were chiding,
      Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
        A lonely spirit guiding.

      What though that light, thro' storm and night,
        So trembled from afar-
      What could there be more purely bright
        In Truth's day-star?

-Edgar Allan Poe wrote it seems for me. I wonder when will I stop dreaming.
And then morbidly I remember, was I ever awake?

Dark Dreams

Once when I dreamt, I saw it all so clearly. I knew I could always escape away there.
Now my dreams are fragmented and shattered. I cannot escape them even when I try to wake up out of them. What I have seen is what I can never dream about. What I can dream about now is what I never want to see.

Rise and Fall to Rise Again (The Fallen Savior)

Can't we be friends and can we be friends? what differs here is one speaks of the wrenching desire and the other signifies the distance. One is isolating and the other is optimism itself.
When the land of endless dreams eventually delivers, all who fell will rise again. The wounds were self inflicted with poor choices yet the renaissance will deliver greatness if it is nurtured by the dreams of the soul itself and is nourished by hard work.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

-Pablo Neruda

Is this how life drains away?

Raat aadhi kheench kar meri hatheli
Ek ungli se likha tha pyar, tumne.
Faasla tha kuchh humare bistaron me
Aur charon or duniya so rahi thi.
Tarikayen hi gagan ki janti hain
Jo dasha dil ki tumhare ho rahi thi.
Main tumhare paas hokar door tumse
Adhjaga sa aur adhsoya hua sa.
Raat aadhi kheench kar meri hatheli
Ek ungli se likha tha pyar, tumne.
Ek bijli chhu gayi, sahsa jaga main
Krishnapakshi chaand nikla tha gagan me.
Is tarah karwat padi thi tum ki aansoo
Bah rahe the is nayan se us nayan me.
Main laga doon aag us sansaar me
Hai pyar jisme is tarah asamarth-kaatar.
Jaanti ho us samay kya kar guzarne ke liye
Tha kar diya taiyyaar tumne!
Raat aadhi kheench kar meri hatheli
Ek ungli se likha tha pyar, tumne.
Praath he ki oar ko hai raat chalthi
Auh ujaale mein andhera doob jaata.
Manch he poora badaltha kaun aise
kkoobiyon ke saath parde ko uttatha.
ek chehra sa laga thumne liya tha
aur meine tha utharaa ek chehra.
vo nisha ka swapn mera tha ke apne
par gazab ka tha kiya adhikaar thumne.
Raat aadhi kheench kar meri hatheli
Ek ungli se likha tha pyar, tumne.
Aur utne faasle par aaj tak
Sau yatna kar ke bhi na aye fir kabhi hum.
Fir na aya waqt waisa, fir na mauka us tarah ka
Fir na lauta chaand nirmam.
Aur apni wedna main kya bataun!
Kya nahi ye panktiyan khud bolti hain?
Bujh nahi paya abhi tak us samay jo
Rakh diya tha haath par angaar tumne.
Raat aadhi kheench kar meri hatheli,
Ek ungli se likha tha pyar, tumne.

-Harivanshrai Bachchan

Kabhi raste mein mil jao to, katrakar guzar jaana
Hame iss tarah se takna jaise pehchaana nahi tumne,
Hamara zikra jab aaye to yun anjaan baan jaana
ke jaise naam sunkar bhi hame jaana nahi tumne

- Sahir Ludhyanwi